i read the hobbit in 3rd grade and i thought it was really lame. however i liked bilbo baggins for some reason and i was fully convinced he was some sort of rabbit/mouse thing until i saw the lotr movies and was really, really confused
Decades of paleontology, and yet no one has stopped to think of the
obvious question. So many dig sites, so many supposed “finds,” but they
ignore what is right in front of them. They pull them from the ground,
clean them, arrange them and then show them off to adoring crowds with
grand applause, and still no one looks at it all and asks “why?” Well,
we know why. Just try to ask one of them. Just try to stand up during a
presentation and voice this legitimate question, see what happens.
Denial, ridicule, outrageous claims and excuses! They look away from you
like they can’t stomach your presence, or cannot handle what they know
to be true. They have you dragged out of symposiums, forcing the label
of “lunatic” and “absolute nut bag” onto you for merely asking for an
answer. They don’t ask the question because they know the answer and it
scares them. An answer that would bring everything we knew about
prehistory crumbling down, invalidating decades of supposed “research”
and “legitimate grants.”
But there are
those not scared to face the truth, to finally pull back the veil and
show the world what should be known. Those who stand before the fools
and cowards to finally ask everyone who can hear: “Why do we only find
dinosaur bones?” Where is the skin, the muscle, the organs? Millions of
years and millions of dinosaurs and yet we cannot find a single heart or
piece of hide? Just perfectly preserved bones?! Each time?! Every
time?! Nothing but bones?! Of course, they call it a coincidence, and
rail off a whole list of excuses. Time, decay and what not, while
refusing to note their perfectly preserved state! All these bones,
gathered in one perfect place? You dig up a T-Rex and all its bones are
just there? That easily? All “bundled” together, would you say? All them
clean and intact, as if almost “licked clean,” hm? Now what process
could do that? What could trap a whole dinosaur in one place then remove
all the flesh, skin and organs from its body, while keeping the
skeleton so perfectly intact?
IT’S
SPIDERS! SPIDERS I TELL YOU! GIANT PREHISTORIC SPIDERS STEALING AWAY
DINOS AND SUCKING THEM DRY! DRY! THOSE BONES ARE WHAT REMAINS! THEY’RE
THEIR MEALS! THE DINOSAURS WERE WIPED OUT FROM INSECTILE MIMICS AND THEY
DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW- GET OFF OF ME! THEY DON’T WANT THE WORLD TO
KNOW! HEY PUT THAT DOWN! THAT’S MY LIFE’S WORK! UNHAND ME THIS INSTANT!
THE BONES ARE A WARNING! A WARNING I TELL YOU! THERE WAS NO ASTEROID, NO
EXTINCTION! LET GO OF ME! THEY NEVER DIED OFF! I SAID LET GO OF ME! THE
SPIDERS ARE STILL ALIVE, THEY’RE STILL HERE! THEY WALKING AMONG US NOW!
OUCH! IT’S A COVER UP! HEY! I BETTER GET A REFUND FOR MY TICKET FOR
THIS INSOLENCE! AND I BETTER GET THE FREE TOTE BAG TOO!
—————————————————
“Spidosaurus”
It
is honestly nutty how long people have been stumbling with this whole
“spinosaurus” thing. Every day they be coming in here being like “no
wait it looked like this!” and “hold on, it eats food like that!” On and
on it goes! How foolish! You would think they would see the truth right
in front of them, but no! I guess I have to do everything around here!
Just had to take one look at it and it all came together! BAM! Just like
that! With my masterwork complete, I can just lean back and wait to be
showered in praise by the paleo people! “Sweet Sarcosuchus! They’ve
cracked the code!” They shall say! “What a bunch of Stego Butt Brains
we’ve been! The truth is so clear!” They shall lament! All while I sit
back and enjoy my awards and billion dollar check. Golly, what a day!
Oh
wait, ain’t a spidersman thingy come out recently?! So spider-sonas are
a thing?! Oooo I pick this one! I pick this one! Yeah, totally meant
for that to happen!
truly my LEAST favorite form of advertisement these days is the faux-tiktoker/influencer who is here to Sell Me Something. the “omg unbox my Pureology ™ skincare haul!!!” “doing the #NespressoChallenge!!!” “you guys will not BELIEVE what i got from shein-“ like its scary. its WEIRD. not only do i have no idea who these perfectly manicured, babytalking people are they feel less like real people than even an actual advertiser does. stop trying to make me believe you are my friend. you are something inhuman to me. you are a changeling. you are a brand wearing ill fitting human skin and i see its skeletal shape shift beneath the surface.
